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Tips - Handling Anger, Fear, Terror, and Rage
For those that wish to curb their anger, fear or rage and look for constructive alternatives, when appropriate.
The Wolves Within
An old grandfather said to his grandson who came in to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, "Let me tell you a story"
"I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those who have taken so much with no sorrow for what they do; but hate wears you down and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking a poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times."
He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way. But...the other wolf... Ah!
The littlest thing will send him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all of the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing."
"Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."
The boy looked intently into his grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"
The grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed."
From Mike:
Extreme forms of emotion are often immobilizing, limiting and dangerous to one's health and well being.
Try the following copyrighted breathing exercise to reduce or eliminate fear, anger and rage responses.
Notice I said responses not feelings. You can still feel them but the difference is what you do about and with them. You can have your emotions without your emotions having you.
I call this copyrighted breathing
exercise
The Lengthened Instantaneous Forced
Exhale
or LIFE.
(c) 2001 Michael Grant White.
Breathing.com
All rights reserved.
It just might save someone's life, including your own.
1. For Road rage and other forms of anger where you do not have practical access to the use of your hands.
For rage you will need to practice it a few times now and again, BEFORE you really need to use it, and then use it whenever you are getting angrier then you would like to be.
Fear and anger can develop into extreme anger and rage because anger is largely supported by an underlying sense of fear. The way we breathe either lessens or worsens the emotional/fear response.
Instruction
Right now, or whenever fear or anger occur, IMMEDIATELY force an exhale.
Do not "gear up" by taking an in-breath...force an
exhale NOW.
Continue the exhale until you can not exhale any more air and then let a deep effortless in-breath come in.
Repeat please.
Right now, or whenever fear or anger occur, IMMEDIATELY force an exhale. Do not "gear up" by taking an in-breath...force an exhale NOW.
Continue the exhale until you can not exhale any more air and then let a deep effortless in-breath come in.
Repeat again please.
Right now, or whenever fear or anger occur, IMMEDIATELY force an exhale. Do not "gear up" by taking an in-breath...force an exhale NOW.
Continue the exhale until you can not exhale any more air and then let a deep effortless in-breath come in.
Practice this a few more times until the next time someone or something startles you, and you have a sense of control of your response that you did not have before. The more you use it the quicker and better you become at neutralizing fear, anger, panic and many severe forms of anxiety.
Also, the effortless in-breath can be somewhat or
extremely relaxing, taking the "edge" or severity of the
situation.
This creative state also allows for more rational constructive approaches that do not escalate the situation beyond necessity and reason. What works for me sometime is to focus on the word "kindness". Love may not be an option for me at the moment so I try "kindness". If nothing else, the kindness is being physically experienced by myself and that is soothing to my state of being. Perhaps the "next time" I will think differently about the incident, and others like it.
2. Try this copyrighted breathing exercise for when you have more time and can use your arms and hands. I call it
The Squeeze and Breathe or SABIf the above helped you get or stay calm even just a little bit, there are many other fast and simple ways of addressing fear anger and rage and they are included in our video/audio self help program at Deepest-Calm.
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